


Revenge is sweet and smells like unsolicited dick pics in the morning

by Rosae



Series: Frostironstrange Works [3]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Grindr, Just something quick and silly, M/M, No Battle of New York, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-14 22:54:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15399330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosae/pseuds/Rosae
Summary: In which Natasha revenge-sets-up a Grindr account for Tony and Stephen only for them to end up with a very interesting match.





	Revenge is sweet and smells like unsolicited dick pics in the morning

**Author's Note:**

> Attack on NY did not take place, Loki is considered a dangerous annoyance more then anything else as he’s not particularly dedicated to destroying the avengers.

Dr. Stephen Strange could be a bit absent minded at times. Mostly when he was working on three or four projects at once and trying to do something else. This lead to him sometimes doing things slightly off, this morning for example, he grabbed a teabag from the box next to the one he had placed in the tower before starting the brewing process. 

More importantly, he grabbed the last teabag from that box, a box that happened to contain herbal tea that was Natasha’s favorite and that was quite a pain to get imported. That was his first his mistake. His second, was instead of at least enjoying the tea, the moment he realized it wasn’t his he dumped it right in the trash and made himself a cup of his own tea. All of which Natasha witnessed with narrowing eyes. 

This called for revenge. The problem was, that material items meant very little to Dr. Strange, and the only item she could think of messing with had a mind of it’s own. Damn cloak stopped her from bothering him while he was sleeping either. So she was left with only an option to annoy in some other sense. Clint was actually the one to give her the idea, he’d been rambling on about dating profiles and asked her which picture she thought would be best for his Grindr profile. Now of course, both Dr. Strange and Tony were openly gay and in a relationship, not that she’d use that against them in the first place, but she could have fun with locking their tech down until they’d scrolled through interested profiles from a day or two’s worth of the app being left up with photos of them on it.

Bucky was recruited to get photos. Nothing fully nude, tasteful photos only since first and foremost Natasha refused to sexually harass her teammates (shirtless photos of both already existed and she wouldn’t push it further then that) and second the best responses came when you didn’t put everything on display. He didn’t even ask questions, just took the Russian vodka and kept a copy of each of two shirtless pictures and one of them together with no comment. Man if he wasn’t dating Sam and she wasn’t a lesbian then Bucky would have been a man after her own heart. 

Armed with pictures, and years of seduction technique, Natasha set up the profile along with a timer that would lock the app onto all mobile devices that belonged to Stark or Dr. Strange after 36 hours of the profile being up. JARVIS had been bribed with “Taking care of Tony favors” (because while JARVIS couldn’t make Tony do things, he could get others to make Tony do things) in order to keep silent and pretend that he was unable to get around her hack. The two of them would have to go through each and ever chat request to unlock the phone. The profile read;

Couple seeking third for a night of fun and maybe more, visual applications and kink lists appreciated, tops and bottoms both considered.

Revenge was sweet and smelled like unsolicited dick pics in the morning. 

When Tony woke up roughly two days later, he saw his phone had roughly four hundred notifications, which wasn’t that unusual, the fact they were all from one unfamiliar app. Sleepily, he slid it open and clicked on the first message, only to find a rather hairy picture of some guy’s junk, which, wasn’t exactly abnormal for him but still damn, first thing in the morning.

It took them ten minutes to figure out fully what Natasha had done. Tony was mostly upset that the photo didn’t capture his best side. He had published mostly nude photos that looked much better then that and she picked a mirror selfie? Stephen was upset at the quality of guys messaging them.

So the two of them spent about an hour together, scrolling through profiles, comparing dick pics to try and find the worst and the best of the bunch and rejecting matches until finally they were down to the last twenty. Stephen was just trying to swipe through quickly while Tony was still enjoying the attention at least to some extent. And then Stephen hit something that caused him to pause. Tony didn’t even turn to look.

“Is it going to top birthday-wrapping-paper dick guy? Or is it a nice abs photo?” Silence.

“Bad pick-up line?” Tony turned around, now curious as to what had given his lover such pause. When he saw the profile pic he froze too. There was a rather elegant photo of Thor’s younger brother, Loki. Loki was a bit of a mystery to the lot of them, Stephen was actually a bit scared of the guy, something about off the charts levels of power and control. Yet Loki had never done much beyond fairly harmless (and funny) pranks. And now Loki was on Grindr. With a damn good profile picture, a shot of the god in suit (which was just unfair, he should be forced to stick to the straight out of games of thrones vibe at all times) stretched out in some sort of lounge with green lighting. 

“What’d he message?” Tony asked, moving to click on the chat window himself despite having just asked Stephen. It seemed enough to shock Stephen into speaking again.

"So which of your friends made an account for the two of you? - L" He read out.

“Oooo, let me message him back.” Again, Tony already had the phone in his hand before Stephen could offer feedback on the idea. 

Now how do you know we weren’t just feeling a bit lonely ;) - TS

The reply was quick.

You have better taste then a shirtless mirror selfie. - L 

“See! He gets it!” Tony cawed, writing back before Stephen could get the phone back as he was attempting to.

Fair enough, it was Natasha. Stephen stole her tea. You seem pretty good at the whole prank thing, any suggestions on how to get back at her? - TS

“Tony-”

“Come on Stephen, how often do you get to get prank advice from the god of mischief?” 

Stephen rolled his eyes but relented. The phone pinged. 

Ideally in a prank war that you want to win, you pretend every prank the other person plays is a favor they’ve done for you. - L 

Ooh, and how would we do that? - TS

Well, given that it would almost certainly piss off my brother and be just about the worst way to come out, I would be willing to volunteer as a successful one-night-stand to have resulted from this experience. 

That gave Tony pause. He glanced up at Stephen expected to be scolding for even letting it get this far, but instead the whole of his boyfriend’s face was one solid blush. Oh. This was interesting. It wasn’t something Tony had seriously considered before, but he and Stephen had both been open to the idea of another person in their relationship in causal discussion in the past. 

So everyone’s on the same page are you offering a pretend morning after or a real night of fun? - TS

I would be be amiable to either, but if you’re looking for the second one let that sorcerer of yours know that per his last challenge on the battlefield; I am perfectly capable of reining in that magic of him completely, particularly if he is otherwise occupied at the time. - L

;) - L

One glance at Stephen told Tony all he needed to know about that, it was rare for Tony to see Stephen blush in the first place and now Tony wasn’t sure if there was any blood left for his organs. 

Well, I can’t promise anything without discussing more explicitly with him first, but how would you feel about coffee at 2 pm at the little store with the private rooms near where you were painting dogs? - TS

I would expect nothing less. If this is an idea you seriously wish to pursue then I would be happy to meet you there. 

And so coffee was had, and coffee once lead to coffee twice. Coffee twice lead to lunch out. Lunch out lead to a dinner date and the dinner date lead to some promises made true that ended with Natasha stumbling upon a rather satisfied god of mischief drinking her tea the next morning much to her shock. An occurrence that unfortunately didn’t happen just once. 

Oh well. At least he enjoyed the tea properly and got more when he used the last bag. It almost made the absolute wreck of the tower that occurred when Thor discovered Tony and Stephen were dating his baby brother without his permission worth it.


End file.
